Yesterday, I went over location descriptions; today, I’ll go over character action.  Character action is a little bit subjective.  Some writers prefer to leave it up to the actors, others believe they should put in every movement and gesture.  I think it’s best to work somewhere in between.

Less is more

A simple rule of thumb would be to put in any action you deem necessary to get your point across.  If your dialogue doesn’t accurately communicate character movement then add the action.  If the action proves to be redundantly stated through dialogue, take it out.  Here’s an example:

JANE
I hate you, Sidney. 

SIDNEY
Don’t you touch me!

From this scene, you’d likely deduce that as Jane says she hates Sidney, she hits her and Sidney backs away.  If that’s the drama you’re going for, then you don’t need any further description.  But let’s see how the scene changes with a little added action:

Jane hugs her sister, crying.

JANE
I hate you, Sidney. 

Sidney shoves her sister across the room like she’s diseased.

SIDNEY
Don’t you touch me!

Sidney runs out.

Having a character say one thing but do the opposite is a simple way to show subtext or even humour.  One line and you can change the entire tone of the scene.

One thing to avoid is irrelevant blocking directions.  Blocking or staging is what is typically done on set when a director works out the actors’ movements for the scene.  There’s no point in putting blocking in your script because once  it comes time for the scene to be shot, the actors could be in completely different places or the set could be totally different from what you imagine.  Here’s what you don’t do:

Jane stands opposite Sidney, staring her in the eye.

JANE
I hate you, Sidney. 

Sidney crosses the room, turns around, looks at Jane.  Jane goes over to her, puts a hand on Sidney’s shoulder.  Sidney backs away, horrified. 

What’s wrong with that?  Depending on your scene, it’s not totally wrong especially if it’s out of character for Jane to stare her sister in the eye, but there’s a lot of pointless direction: ‘stands opposite’, ‘crosses the room, turns, looks’, etc.  You could write instead:

Jane stares her down…Sidney tries to escape, Jane grabs her, Sidney cowers in fear. 

The essence of what you’re trying to communicate is there, but it’s distinctly more effective.  This kind of action is not likely to be cut or ignored, whereas the first example could be or worse; misinterpreted.

Avoid excessive use of parenthetical direction (also known as ‘wrylies’ because writers constantly suggesting that dialogue be delievered ”wryly”).  Actors hate them and they scream amateur.  Again, unless it’s not obvious how the line should be delivered and it’s absolutely necessary that it be delivered in a particular manner, then don’t do it.  This is almost acceptible:

JANE
(lovingly)
I hate you, Sidney. 

SIDNEY
(giggling)
Don’t you touch me!

Have your script read by actors without wrylies and see what happens.  Actors may not interpret your dialogue exactly as you imagined, but they may just come up with something brilliant.  Actors are trained to read subtext and if your characters are well drawn, your intentions will shine through.

As mentioned in yesterday’s article, a writer’s job is to put on paper what audiences will see and hear.  Don’t waste valuable space with comments on internal thoughts that can’t be seen on screen.  This usually happens when the writer can’t figure out how to convey that imagery visually so they cheat.

 Jane pauses in thought.     vs     Jane wonders how her sister could say that.

Sidney searches the room for an exit.     vs     Sidney tries to figure a way out.

The first example in each is visual.  We can see that Jane stops and thinks and Sidney looks for a way out, but the second is internal.  How does an actor show what they’re thinking?  At times you’ll see things like: Jane pauses in thought – how could she say that?  Avoid this.  Be as concise as possible. 

Similar to wrylies, actors hate it when scripts tell them to ‘blush’.  No one can blush on command.  Instead, say ‘embarrassed’.  Anything like “goes red in the face” or “gets flushed” is impossible for actors to do.  Go for the active verb rather than the end result.  The actor may end up going red in the face, but the desired result is that she appears embarrassed so don’t confuse the issue. 

Speaking of active verbs, action should always be active not passive.  Passive action is: Jane is running.  vs  Jane runs.  If you read through your script and have a lot of “is –ings” then you are using passive action – change it.  Use the most descriptive verb you can to avoid overuse of adverbs such as:  Jane sprints.  vs  Jane runs quickly. 

When more is more

Some writers tend to leave too much to the actor and director to decide, which could lead to disaster.

In action scenes, don’t skimp on the detail.  Don’t say “they fight” and leave it at that; readers need to visualize the fight.  (Refer to the article on writing action scenes for more info on this.)  Same with love scenes; spell it out.  You’re the one who controls what’s put on screen so if you only want to show one punch then cut to another scene elsewhere, write that.  If you want to show the whole fight scene then you’ll have to write out every action

Tomorrow: Camera Directions